Batting For The Cycle- Cleanup on the Netflix aisle

I wasn’t super-inclined otherwise, but between Spartacus and Rome I’ve been on an Italian thing lately. So I gave Netflix’s docu-drama a try- Roman Empire. And… Eh.

It’s both more and less than Spartacus and Rome were, though it’s clearly inspired some by both. There’s sex and gore still, but both are far less pornographic. The sex is much more consensual, and in some ways so is the violence- these dopes die with such “nobility”. Hell, there was probably just a single battle sequence that was filmed for the whole series, just montaged together in different ways. Treatment of slaves isn’t really touched upon, beyond the occasional casualty of excess- these stories don’t have much room for supporting casts or subtext. The history though is probably where most of the value is. The first season covers Commodus, and you can see how ‘Gladiator’ was distilled down from the source material in much the same way that ‘Braveheart’ had been. Second season is Caesar himself (who honestly is kinda played out), and the third is Caligula.

So they’re interesting to watch, but not particularly fun. Some of that is the storytelling. They’ll use music and pauses to approximate narrative tension, but these are still documentaries of a sort. The occasional breaks to interview clips with contemporary scholars reinforce that this is a bit more about informing than it is about entertaining.

A real problem though is the casting. There seems to be a finite pool of Romanesque acting talent available- each season had some familiar faces. Commodus himself was played by Tiberius’ lover from s3 of Spartacus. Solonius takes a turn alongside Caligula, along with that food guy from Spartacus too. And Solonius pulls it off, that actor has some skill. But neither Commodus nor Claudius could rise above the impressions created by the actors’ previous parts, so the Netflix series suffers some as a result.

But the biggest whiff by far was Caesar. First in casting- remember Nemetes, the rapey mercenary noble savage from Spartacus? Same guy. So the moment you see him, you don’t like him! Then there’s the portrayal. Take the Caesars of Spartacus and Rome. Both are completely different personalities, but both completely sell a portrait of capability and determination. Netflix’s Caesar instead is tortured and uncertain, with his mouth always hanging slightly open in a way that I’m sure was intended to convey inner turmoil. This is a Caesar who “goes with the flow” as much as he “shapes Western civilization”. Some of that comes down to reality vs fiction, but some is just presentation. This guy, under that stage direction, is no Caesar.

And Pompey! I almost forgot. Another Spartacus alum, this time the lead asshole from s2. Tullius. Pompey never rises above that image. He’s supposed to be this master general, but because the Empire characters have so little agency, they’re just not whole people. So you fill in the details using other references. Rome’s Pompey is dignified in his obsolescence, but Empire Pompey is a sneering jerk because it’s clearly just Tullius with a silly beard.

To finish out the triumvirate, even Crassus gets hosed. In Spartacus, Crassus is a force of nature. Methodical and disciplined. In Empire, he’s petulant and impotent. I would have liked to see Spartacus’ Crassus fall and have molten gold poured down his throat. That would be a seriously intense moment. But when it happens to Empire’s Crassus, it’s hard to care too much.

So. Anyway. Commodus was good, so was Caligula. The episode count goes down with each season which is unfortunate. Commodus gets 6 episodes, when his story is essentially just an expansion of ‘Gladiator’. Caligula on the other hand only gets 4 eps despite being a demented and depraved nutbar. Seems like that should have been the other way around…